Equal. Dignity. Perfect Love.

                                                   Open your eyes...


We went to Modesto this past week to work with the YWAM base located there.
Painful.
Real.
Eyes=opened.
Stretching.
Exhausting.
Relaxing.
Intense.
Beautiful.
Ugly.

Words that describe the past week of my life. It was an amazing week. Completely different than average schedule for us. The YWAM base there focuses on homeless ministry, their focus being justice. We worked along side them all week long, mostly focusing on a certain area of Modesto, south 9th street. Also known as no-man's land, the place of the forgotten, the rug where all problems are swept under...etc. This certain section of Modesto is where people go to be forgotten. When you fly past rock bottom... you land on South 9th street. It's a sad, disheartening place. But the YWAM base is bringing hope, food, and most importantly love to these people. They create friendships and they are beautiful friendships to see.

The worst part of seeing these people who have gone beyond rock bottom was not that they don't want to change. Their lack of clothing in some cases. Their bitterness towards anyone who wants to help them. Their anger. No. It was the fact that I can easily cut myself off emotionally from it. I can just stand there...and not see their pain. Feel their pain. Hear their pain. That I am capable of being so...cold towards someone in such need of just someone to treat them with dignity. Love. Respect. What is wrong with my heart? That I can just look away and pretend i didn't see the woman who just got her 6th hotdog because she hasn't eaten in days? Maybe a week? I am just human. Saved by grace. I do not understand why God has grace for things like this. I am CALLED to love these people. And all i could think while i was serving hotdogs one night was "Jesus. I don't think i'm cut out for this. I can't do this..."

We are all humans, saved by grace. If you know Jesus, you know this. But why does He have grace towards our cold, walled off hearts? Perfect, unconditional love. It's just unreal how much He loves us. I will never, EVER comprehend it. But i hope to be pursuing that comprehension for the rest of my life.

To say the least, I am learning. This past week has taught me a lot, not a lot of it dealing with Modesto. I'm realizing more and more of how incapable i am of doing anything without Jesus. I can't have grace with his grace first. I only love because He first loved us.

We are equal before God's eyes.