Just.

I need to be real in these posts. I know I do. That's always been a struggle for me, to answer honestly when people ask me how i am. People want to hear the real answer, not the standard crap answer that has no substance at all. It's exhausting. To be honest, vulnerable, open. But that's what makes a powerful testimony. It's those testimonies that change people's lives. WHAT did God do in your life? WHAT is He doing now? That's what affects people. But being vulnerable is so hard. You set yourself up for pain, rejection, criticism. No one wants that. Which is why we put walls around our hearts. And I think it's good to be smart about who you're vulnerable with. But if it makes a powerful testimony and brings glory to God then do it!

On that note. God's been doing ridiculous things. Like not necessarily things that affect ME personally, but how I, as a person, can affect how this world works. I'm starting to realize how much the way my life is impacts others. I'm actually here, leaving my mark behind. And all I can do is do the best i can to make sure that mark is beneficial to others. An encouragement. A help. How do i do this?! Someone told me today (our speaker this week actually) that i'm here to learn how to have a gentle spirit. To understand what others go through. That i'm already strong and will be an encouragement to others in that way, but i need to learn how to be gentle in that strength. Which is so true. I'm often brutally honest, and i don't realize that it hurts people. I don't want that to be my mark left behind! I want to leave behind truth, but not pain. I want to leave behind encouragement, not harsh words. So if any of you feel like spending an extra minute talking to Jesus today, maybe lift that up to Him.

I think that's really all i had to say today. I'm just learning how to speak actual wisdom into other people. And i don't want to screw it up. Thanks for listening guys. I love you all so much! So so much. :)
~allie a.~