Today is just a rough day.
We only have one more day left in Msambweni. I woke up today with a bad attitude about being here and feeling like we’re not going to affect anyone in 2 days. We prayed this morning about our day and I prayed especially about healing. God has given me that word about outreach in general. Healing will come. I also asked for eyes to be opened to the pain that people suffer around us. Welp, my heart is broken. And I have no solution to anything that I’ve discovered today. Nothing. It’s so hard to watch someone cry, and have absolutely no solution for them. All I can do is pray for them. I hate the injustice that happens daily, and no one knows. No one cares enough to solve the problem. Or they’re like me, and have no solution to it.
The school has started back up at action ministry. I didn’t help out in the classroom today, and I think that was God having mercy on me. I was there during their recess and I almost went insane. The kids are so horribly mean to each other. Bullying breaks my heart. There’s one little boy here named macongo (not sure if that’s how you spell it) and he has cerebral palsy. The kids are so mean to him. And they just don’t know any better, because the parents don’t parent here. I’m just frustrated because I don’t know what to do. We’re leaving in 2 days. What the heck can I do in the next 2 days?!
At one point I had go and pick macongo up from the ground because he was lying on the ground and the kids were surrounding him, mocking and shoving him. The injustice in the situation is way too much. My heart is broken for these kids. They don’t know any better, but they need to be taught better. How to love each other, how to treat other.
We only have one more day left in Msambweni. I woke up today with a bad attitude about being here and feeling like we’re not going to affect anyone in 2 days. We prayed this morning about our day and I prayed especially about healing. God has given me that word about outreach in general. Healing will come. I also asked for eyes to be opened to the pain that people suffer around us. Welp, my heart is broken. And I have no solution to anything that I’ve discovered today. Nothing. It’s so hard to watch someone cry, and have absolutely no solution for them. All I can do is pray for them. I hate the injustice that happens daily, and no one knows. No one cares enough to solve the problem. Or they’re like me, and have no solution to it.
The school has started back up at action ministry. I didn’t help out in the classroom today, and I think that was God having mercy on me. I was there during their recess and I almost went insane. The kids are so horribly mean to each other. Bullying breaks my heart. There’s one little boy here named macongo (not sure if that’s how you spell it) and he has cerebral palsy. The kids are so mean to him. And they just don’t know any better, because the parents don’t parent here. I’m just frustrated because I don’t know what to do. We’re leaving in 2 days. What the heck can I do in the next 2 days?!
At one point I had go and pick macongo up from the ground because he was lying on the ground and the kids were surrounding him, mocking and shoving him. The injustice in the situation is way too much. My heart is broken for these kids. They don’t know any better, but they need to be taught better. How to love each other, how to treat other.
I’m lost today. I’ve just been praying, wondering what I can
do. And then I realized that’s the wrong question. It’s not what I can do. It’s
never what I can do. What can God do? How can His glory be brought to this
place? So even though I know that’s what I need to be asking, I still want to
fix it. The problem with the kids is something that just needs to be taught
every day, consistently. It’s not something we can just teach them tomorrow and
then leave. True discipleship is not teaching once and then leaving them with
the information, alone. And I guess that’s something I’m struggling with today
too. How do we have true discipleship to everyone here when we’ve only been
here a month? And we leave soon.
My mind is all over the place today, and there’s not much
rhyme or reason. I know this is just a rambled mess.
I know God is doing a lot in me. That’s what I’m holding onto right now. And I’m excited for change that has happened while we were here. And Nicaragua will be amazing.
I know God is doing a lot in me. That’s what I’m holding onto right now. And I’m excited for change that has happened while we were here. And Nicaragua will be amazing.
So as much as i would love to upload some pictures onto here, it's just not possible here. I'll just have a lot when i get home!
love you guys! :)
love you guys! :)
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